A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife; so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man… Read More »
A few years ago, there was a story on the radio news about a Baptist church that had a problem. It was with the Methodists down the street. Some Baptists were unable to find a space in their own parking lot because members of the nearby Methodist church, which met earlier than the Baptists, got… Read More »
Too many couples marry for better, or for worse, but not for good. If a man has enough horse sense to treat his wife like a thoroughbred, she will never turn into an old nag. When a man marries a woman, they become one; but the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.… Read More »
A Tennessee farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully from morning till night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something. The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. So he tried to plow a lot. One day, when he was out plowing, his… Read More »
On the Upper West Side lived a man who was a very militant atheist but he sent his son to Trinity School because, despite its Christian roots, it was a great school. After a month, the boy comes home and says casually, “By the way Dad, do you know what Trinity means? It means the… Read More »
The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot’s wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, “My Mummy looked back once, while she was driving,” he announced triumphantly, “and she turned into a telephone pole!”
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, “Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.” The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative:… Read More »
There was a feud between the Pastor and the Choir Director of The Hicksville Baptist Church. It seems the first hint of trouble came when the Pastor preached on “dedicating yourselves to service” and the Choir Director chose to sing: “I Shall Not Be Moved.” Trying to believe it was a coincidence, the Pastor put… Read More »
In a cemetery in England: Remember man, as you walk by, As you are now, so once was I. As I am now, you soon will be. Prepare yourself and follow me. To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone: To follow you I’ll not consent Until I know which way you went
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin? Why women can’t put on mascara with their mouth closed?! Why don’t you ever see the headline “Psychic Wins Lottery”? Why is “abbreviated” such a long word? Why is it that doctors call what they do “practice”? Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor,… Read More »