How to Speak Parsonese

By | March 16, 2016

This page drove my spell checker crazy!!!


  • Ain’t = Is not.
  • All Mighty = God the Father
  • Alright = Okay, fine or well.


  • Brethren = Those fellow males who are Born Again Christians.
  • Betcha = I’d stake my life on it.
  • Born Again = Accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.
  • Brother = See BRETHREN.
  • Brush Pile University = Old country term for finding a secluded place to learn from the Lord.
  • Bunch = Usually refers to a group or groups of people with a certain idea.


  • Cain’t = See KAIN’T.
  • Contraption = A machine, most commonly used to define my computer or my car.
  • Consarn = An expression of disgust.
  • Cornbread and beans = A feast.


  • Dad Burn it = An expression of exasperation.
  • Dog Gone It = An expression of frustration.
  • Drekly = Directly or very soon.


  • Err = Error or having a misconception.


  • Finer than Frogs Hair = I’m doing well, thank you kindly.
  • Flop = A failure of some sort.
  • Folks = A term of endearment for a group or groups of people.
  • Fool = Someone who ain’t got the sense God gave a goose.
    • Psalms 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
  • Fortnight = Two weeks, 14 days.


  • Gal = Usually referring to a younger Sister in Christ Jesus.
  • Get Right = Accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior. ie: Getting your heart right. (Ask the Parson about Getting Right.)


  • Handy as a Hay Rake = Useful.
  • Hankerin = A desire.
  • Holy Ghost Conviction = A strong belief given to us by the Holy Spirit of God.
  • Hunkey Dorey = Everything will work out fine.


  • Idiot = See FOOL.


  • Joy = A gift of the Holy Spirit. What we are supposed to have in our salvation. (No Joy??? Ask the Lord for it. He’ll give it. See the Parson for details!)
  • Jerk = Junior Educated Rich Kid. A smarty pants.


  • Kain’t = See CAIN’T. (Ever feel like you were running in circles?) Can’t or unable to comply.
  • Keeled over = Past away, died, ceased to exist on this earth.
  • Knuckle Head = Someone who doesn’t give much thought to situations or dilemmas. (Not meant in a derogatory or bad way.)


  • Larnin = Learning or education.
  • LOL = Laugh Out Loud, used in the chat to show something was funny.


  • Ma’am = A signification of respect towards a lady. (Makes no reference to age.)
  • Master, the = The Lord Jesus Christ.


  • Nigh = Near or close.
  • No moss growin under my Feet = I am staying busy!
  • Now you’re a cookin with butter (or grease) = You have grasped the idea and you understand the situation.


  • Omni = All or every.


  • Papist = Someone who is a follower of the catholic pope.
  • Parson = Olde English term originally coined for a Baptist preacher.
  • Past Away = Usually referring to a Saint dying and going home to be with the Lord.
  • Pedo-Baptist = A denomination which practices infant baptism.
  • Plow Stuck in a Rut = Not feeling well or being depressed.
  • Plumb = Defiantly or right on the mark.
  • Prayer Warrior = A high office in the Parsons Corner Ministries. One who is entrusted with the prayer requests of others.


  • Quirky = Full of errors.


  • Rascal = Someone who is sneaky. Most times used as a jest or pun.
  • Reckon = To think or ponder on something.
    • Proof that the Apostle Paul was a Southerner. Romans 8:18 For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
  • Roastnear = An ear of corn. Roasting Ear.
  • ROFL = Rolling On The Floor Laughing, used in the chat to show something was extreemly funny.
  • Rough Row to Hoe = Something hard to do.


  • Scalawag = Someone who isn’t honest.
  • Sir = A signification of respect towards a fellow man. (Makes no reference to age intended.)
  • Sis = An acknowledgement of a Sister in Christ Jesus.
  • Sissy = An acknowledgement of a Sister in Christ Jesus.
  • Skin me alive = Reprimand.
  • Soder In = To take your time reaching a place or destination.
  • Spect = Expect, ie I expect.
  • Sure nuff = I agree with you.


  • Them Thar = Those over there or a certain group of items.


  • Uh-Oh = Signifies just realizing a problem.


  • Vittles = Derived from Old English (Victuals), Food.


  • Where the Bear Sits = This is where I am telling you I have a firm belief.
  • Whoops = Signifying a mistake was made.


  • Xtree = Extra or surplus.


  • Ya’ll = Every one of you or All of you folks.
  • Younguns = Young ones, most folks younger than me.
  • You’ns = See YA’LL.
  • Yup = Yes


  • Zoo = What we have in the chats or message board some times!

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